Writing On

Procrastination is my biggest problem when it comes to writing.  I was much better before the internet came along, but  now there always seems to be another challenge in a game, or someone's interesting blog, or FB post, or a news event to follow and read and use as a procrastinatory tool.  (Surprised my word processor allowed that....procrastinatory is a word?  Might be my new favorite...).  So I'll blame Al Gore for my lack of writing.  I used to try to convince myself that I am always in the process of writing because I am, after all, a writer.  If I was not in the action, I was in the thinking, creating, holding of my characters, and other even unnamed unconscious efforts that led to my actually putting words to the page.  I rarely have problems putting the words to the page.  It's just getting to the page that is the challenge.  I rely a lot on that unconscious river that feeds my Jungian self when I write.  I often feel like I am along for the ride consciously.  It's fascinating to me.  I trust.  I guess perhaps that comes with age.  So, I write and do some more and then it comes time to putting my writing out there, and this too is an area in which I lack forward movement.  Days like today give me many excuses to put it on hold.  Today I wrangled with formatting and thought I was making considerable headway.  And then Word froze and reluctantly I had to tell it to force quit when I really wanted to gently save and close the several documents open on my desktop.  Especially after three hours.  In my frustration with Word and with the heat and with the family stuff that was permeating the air, I decided this is enough.  I did not decide it is a sign that I must not persevere.  Just a nudge to put off a bit today.  And so I took out the picture of the Write On mug my daughter so thoughtfully crafted for me last Christmas and asked myself, what will I write on about today.  And here it is.  Not too deep, but then I didn't want to put the hip boots on today anyway.  Tomorrow I might just head back to the formatting so I can get that book out there.  Or maybe I'll work on revision of another book.  Or perhaps I'll work on my new book.  So many options.  But now, I'll have a word with Mr. Gore.  I'll check out his internet to test if it is, in fact, a path to avoidance.  I am a writer.  No matter what I choose to do at the moment, I'm either writing or prewriting.  That's my thought and I'm sticking to it.