Happy 115th birthday, Mom! 1903 is, historically, a long time ago, and yet you are still so very much alive to me in the memories I have of you, the pieces of me that are you, the love that I have for you. I wonder what life was like when you were born. Just after the turn of the century, new immigrants continued to arrive here, World War I was in the distant future. You joined five siblings, and there would be two more. You were the sixth child, just like me! You told me once that you cannot imagine what I will see in my lifetime as you saw so many changes in technology from electricity to cars to airplane travel to a man on the moon. You did not live to see the internet, which is rather the defining technology of my life.
When I think of you, I think of strength and devotion to belief. Raising Jeanne Marie and I, just 12 and 7, after dad died when you were just 52. You never worked outside the home, choosing to live frugally yet providing us with a solid private school education. You devoted your life to causes, most specifically the Catholic church's causes, as well as dabbling in political causes from registering voters, to allowing our home to be a polling place, to actively campaigning for John F. Kennedy. You listened to people talk about their problems and tried to help. You didn't stop. You were President of the Senior Citizens club. You were generous with your time with your grandchildren. You had many friends and were a great friend to many.
While you were not formally educated, you were well read and modeled the importance of reading and learning. You supported my writing, complimenting my efforts at poetry and prose. You encouraged me to be the best of who I could be. I continue to live my life to make you proud. I know you would be. You taught me humility and not to be boastful and to help others. The touchstone of your life was faith---in God, in humankind, in yourself. I see that now.
While you were not openly affectionate, you never turned down a hug or my hand in yours or on your arm. I understand you were likely not raised with overt affection and it was difficult for you. Your sense of humor helped me to see the world in absurd ways and to realize comedy is the flip side of the coin of tragedy. The quick sense of humor I have, the part that carried me through so much tragedy, was a solid life lesson from both you and dad.
I never saw you cry. Although you must have carried great sadness through the deaths of your husband, your son, your daughter, your siblings. You told me on more than one occasion that I had leaky eyes. I still do. But then, as now, the tears that flow do not impede my actions. I, too, am a strong woman. You have modeled that.
I miss you, Mom. I wish I could sit at the kitchen table and have a cup of coffee with you and discuss for hours the state of affairs of the world and the problems in the family and how they can be supported and fixed. I watched you do this with my older siblings. For hours. I know we would have had much to talk about, I think I reminded you of yourself in many ways. I am my mother's daughter.
So on this anniversary of your birth, I remember all the times. Some not so positive. Many times I was not given what I needed, but I never fault you for that. You were going through so much in your own life and you did the best you could. I turned out quite okay, in fact, quite well. I never believe that what I was not able to receive from you was withheld because you were callous, but rather because you were human. I marvel at all you went through and maintained a steady course that allowed us to grow and develop into mature women. For this I am so grateful to you.
Happy birthday, Mom. Forever alive in my heart. Thank you for being you and for loving me, encouraging me, and believing in me! I feel your strength and your spirit and your pride.
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