Friday, August 23, 2013

Whether in the Sunset or the Sunrise

         Home and settled once again, in some ways.  I've restocked the nutritious food (Trader Joe's), the junk food (Target) and the bulk food (Costco).  I've vacuumed the house and washed and dried the clothes (that await repopulation to my closet, 2 out of 3 not so bad).  I've cleaned out the pond and refilled it.  I'm awaiting the cool of the evening to enjoy sitting in my courtyard again, the heat wave coupled with humidity not inviting me to do so quite yet.  I've been to the library and checked out a book to end run paying $30.00.  Reminded me of my childhood when, not being able to afford books, I borrowed them and brought them home, balancing wobbly stacks with my left hand while steering my bike with my right.  Now, I can afford them, but not the space they take up in my house.  I have enough books.  At least that's what I tell myself now.  I have reacquainted myself with many routines, including hanging out with my dog, or does she hang out with me?  We mostly stay in the same room, near one another, connected in that way.  She sleeps, a dream away from popping awake when I move from one place to another.  I attempted to resume my walking routine the other day but the mosquito bites, which are settling nicely, protested when rubbed against my shoe, so I decided to give them the week off.  Mondays are good start days. I'll try again on Monday.
         My mind still spins with thoughts of people I met, what I want to do now, how I will put into practice my new and old and middle ideas.  Integrate the past with the present to create my future.  Do I go to the writing conference I had planned in September?  Do I stay near home and take a day away and write?  And my journal class, how will I market that?  How can I help others?  What about my writing?  Do I continue onward with the new work or revise and resubmit the older work?  Will I ever find that one other? I wonder about so many things.  And in the wonder there is life.  The sun sets every night, but the sun rises every morning.  The sun rises every morning and the sun sets every night.  What different ways to look at the world it seems.  I prefer the former.  I like the end to lead to a new beginning.  A week ago I lived in a special place with special people who I wish to keep connected in my life.  My time with them in that special place came to an end, but for me that ending created the start.  My questions push me forward.  The answers will come eventually, whether in the sunset or the sunrise.

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